August 04, 2007

Dear YouTube - Why are you so addictive?

I love Kristen Chenoweth, and I think she looks like Lucy Ball a little bit in this video.

Posted by: Mookie at 01:49 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.

June 11, 2007

Dear Self

When your stomach stops protesting remember to throw out all your tomato soup.

Why? Because you didn't look at the date at the bottom of the can before eating it.  Way to go, slick. Lets tell the folks at home when the experation date was - the one you didn't think to check until your stomach started the first round of angry protests - Feb 2007.

Damn it.

-Phipps™

Posted by: Mookie at 07:43 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 71 words, total size 1 kb.

May 09, 2007

Coffee, Oh how I love thee

Coffee has benefits!

I knew it!  Muhahaha!

Coffee protects against cancer, alzhemizers, suicide, and diabetes.  My god, it sounds like the drink Ponce De Leon was looking for in his quest for the fountain of youth.

Posted by: Mookie at 07:47 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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April 30, 2007

Dear Everyone

I'm not as angry as I seem, honest.

Usually.

Maybe.

Kind of.

Sorta

Not really.

But yeah.

*Grins*

Posted by: Mookie at 12:15 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 20 words, total size 1 kb.

Dear Security

I'm so glad you're diligent and ready at a drop of a hat an hours warning to come rushing leave the fireman standing outside of the building for 20 minutes waiting for you!

Were you drunk? Wouldn't surprise me. Or is it more simple - do you just suck as a human being? 

Twenty young women, sitting outside of their dorm at midnight-thirty in the cold, several with out pants, waiting for you to shut off the damn alarms. 

You're all retards1.  I hate Securitas.  You'd think security would have stopped sucking so bad, after recent events at other colleges.

Much hate,
-Phipps


1 The head of security, R.R, actually seems to be a nice guy, I like him.  Its just all the lackeys that make me want to slam someones head violently into the wall until their brains splatter and become the new wall color.
more...

Posted by: Mookie at 09:29 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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April 29, 2007

Letter #4

Dear Andre,

These are some sick dreams.  Really.  You aren't supposed to dream your own death; and killing a baby in a nightmare does not make for a restful nights sleep.

If you could just, you know, help me out, that would be real great.

Oh, and make the men in my life slightly less stupid... That would be handy too.

Love,
-Phipps

Posted by: Mookie at 10:07 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 65 words, total size 1 kb.

Dear Mrs. Jones,

Welcome Mrs. Jones, and I found this image for you.

http://diveintomark.org/public/2006/07/you-make-bunny-cry.jpg

Love,
-Phipps

Posted by: Mookie at 11:22 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 15 words, total size 1 kb.

April 28, 2007

Letter #3

Dear Andre,

If you could just get rid of certain video games, I'm sure thousands of women in my generation would save millions on future therapy as they try to figure out why their self image has been corrupted.

These stupid, pointless, time consuming video games make it impossible to build any sort of communication.  Screw them "influencing" people to go shoot others, or whatever they're saying lately. 

But hell Andre, not even get rid of them, just make them not so damn addicting.

-Phipps

Posted by: Mookie at 10:05 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 87 words, total size 1 kb.

April 25, 2007

Dear Dining Hall

If you would just admit that you've been idiots and ran out of money for the year we would all be much more understanding about the slop that you feed us three times a day. However, since you can not be rational enough to tell us, and you just decide that we'll never notice that we have the deli bar for dinner a minimum of four times a week you insult our intelligence.

We are not pleasant when we're hungry. You're feeding a student body made up of all women, where probably at least... one fourth is PMSing at any one time.  Also, when starting a new semester, you should really serve a decent breakfast.  Leftover donuts, bagels, and cereal are not a good start to a new semester.  You would have done better with Tater Tots.

Don't be such dumbasses, you're pissing us all off.

-Phipps

Posted by: Mookie at 09:56 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 150 words, total size 1 kb.

April 23, 2007

Dear Mr. Asshole

Thank you for being a dick weed and almost side swiping my car while I tried to change lanes. You're decision to scoot onto the shoulder and drive it all the way past the traffic on the parkway almost got my car side swiped. Thank goodness I looked in the mirror to check for idiots like you that ride in the shoulder before I moved into the turn lane.

The nice thing though, Mr. Asshole, is that you're shiny new SUV being damaged probably would have hurt you a hell of a lot more then my 15 year old, $100 car being damaged will hurt me.

Thank you and fuck off,
-Phipps

Posted by: Mookie at 02:01 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 115 words, total size 1 kb.

April 22, 2007

Dear XM Radio

You really kind of suck. I miss Sirius so much more then you, and though Sirius has a super annoying DJ on my favorite station, you're version of the station sucks. Get some variety.

You have so many various mix-stations of the oddest mixes that you can't find what you want to listen too.

And remake's of songs do not belong on the "The Stations With The Weirdest Music Ever Recorded."

Sorry you suck,
-Phipps

Posted by: Mookie at 09:46 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 78 words, total size 1 kb.

April 20, 2007

Letter #2

Dear Andre,

You would think people would have had enough of silly love songs.

Thank you for all the new music entering my life hard drive.
Thank you for Dionysus, Goddess of the Theatre giving me four A's without the evil little minus indicating sub-par excellence attached. 
As Mom put it: I'm on Honors List; got the financial aid to return to school in the fall; I'm dating someone really cool; I'm employed for the summer; I'm blogging again and brought lots of friends (including you) over to the dark side from LJ; and my car is still running.

Andre, life's not too shabby.
Thanks and love,
-Phipps™

Posted by: Mookie at 11:34 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 111 words, total size 1 kb.

April 19, 2007

Letter #1

Dear Andre,
I behave, I do my school work, I rarely have a major screw up.
So why did you have to trash my plans?
Every aspect of the plans was going perfectly until you decided that the one key aspect of it should fail.  The real humor is that the rest of the plan is going full steam ahead perfectly! Hate is a strong word, but I really really don't like you; right now.
Love,
-Phipps™

Posted by: Mookie at 09:27 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 79 words, total size 1 kb.

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